Doing Something That Frightened Me (Part 2)

Previously, on RealGunners blog:

I swiped Like on a Japanese lady on Tinder, and a short while later, my phone’s notification alert beeped…

Let’s continue with the story.

So, yeah… my phone’s notification alert beeped. At that point of time, I still did not suspect Tinder. After all, the alert sounds the same for any type of messaging alert, be it Whatsapp, FB Messenger, Google Hangout, and the good ol’ trusty SMS.

I unlocked my phone’s screen and saw that it was a Tinder alert, and it ranked up there as one of the most shocking moment of my life.

I mean, why would I get a match? Why would someone Like me back? I did not even use a highly doctored image of me resembling a hot hunk. It was a regular fatty photo of myself.

When I saw the match was Nao, the shock level skyrocketed even higher and if I was sitting in front of a mirror I would probably have seen myself look like this.


For a few minutes I didn’t know what to do. There were a bunch of questions and dilemma playing on the back of my head. Questions like:

  • Should I overlook the match? Or should I initiate a conversation with her?
  • If I start the conversation, what should I say?
  • Am I going to get to fuck a Japanese lady?
  • No, of course not. I’m not going to be fucking anybody. No, wait, is she expecting a fuck fuck session?
  • How do I tell her I’m not into fucking without asking the in-your-face obvious and embarrassing myself in the process?

I even briefly went on Youtube to look up “How to say no to hookup on Tinder” guides. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any. Instead, every single fucking videos (no pun intended) were about “How to score a hookup on Tinder”.

Noooo!!! Surely not???

After an eternity (probably just a few minutes in real life) of sweat inducing, panicky mental breakdown, I suddenly realized that I shouldn’t give a shit about being upfront. It would be awesome to make friends with a Japanese lady. And if she was actually really just looking for sex, then telling her upfront that I’m not looking for quick sex would be fine. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?Β Oh, sorry, I’m not into casual friendship, end of conversation, kthxbye.Β No harm done.


The rational me regained control and kicked the panicky sissy me to a corner and I started a conversation with Nao.

Now as our mutual interest is an anime songs singer, the actual conversation is riddled with technical otaku details and probably boring to most of you. Also, she’s Japanese so her English is… well… Anyway, so I’ll grammatically edit and paraphrase it for you.

Me: Konnichiwa!
Nao: Hello!
Me: ……

You know what? Fuck this shit. I’m at a lost as to how to paraphrase this shit. I won’t do it. Basically I said hi, she said hi back, I told her I Liked her because of Maon-chan and didn’t expect a match, she told me she was vacationing in Penang and she that she was leaving for the airport later in the afternoon. That’s good news because it means no way this would turn out kinky, the time frame was too short even for a quick fuck.

So we made plans for coffee at a Starbucks near her AirBnb place.

After we made the plan and I got out from Tinder world, I panicked again. What have I done??? I just made plans to have coffee with someone whom I have never met and have not even known online for more than 10 minutes???

This was beyond my comfort zone. Wayyyyyy beyond my comfort zone. You see, I have met strangers before, but by strangers I mean online friends. People who I have been chatting with online for quite some time, so I was always fairly comfortable with the idea of finally meeting up.

This Nao, for all I know, could’ve been a Chinese prostitute or a Nigerian scammer or something…

I ended up driving to the meeting place, the Starbucks anyway. I’m not exaggerating when I say that at every traffic lights and every junctions, I entertained the idea of turning back, going home and cower. It was an intense mental struggle of epic proportions.

Even as I have arrived and parked my car, I spent a few minutes alternating between getting myself composed and fighting off the strong urge to just drive off and forget about this.

Eventually I managed to get myself out of the car and made my way to the Starbucks entrance. As I was pushing the door open, I noticed someone right behind me. So I turned around.

And there she was. The Japanese lady, Nao. She looked exactly like her pictures in Tinder. I was relieved.

We got our coffees and a slice of cheesecake to share, and got talking. Well, it was awkward in the beginning.

I mean, I was awkward in the beginning. You see, since way back when, I have had minimal practice with being one on one with someone of the opposite gender. More often than not, I would not know what to say, so it would either be awkward silence, or me embarrassing myself with small talks attempt. If you meet me for the first time, you would probably hear me ask “Nice weather today eh?” or “Do you like Dragon Ball?”.

At first I thought, it was extra foolish of me to date a Japanese lady for coffee. The language barrier would make matters worse. In hindsight though, it was foolish of me to worry about that, because the language barrier actually made things less awkward. Her struggling to string together English sentences, combined with my pathetic attempt at uttering Japanese words I learned from watching anime, actually made things less awkward.

We did not spend a lot of time at Starbucks. When she asked me for a good place to buy omiyage (souvenir), instead of giving her directions, I offered to bring her instead. Thinking back, I guess I should be surprisedΒ that she trusted me enough to get into my car. I guess I have a trustworthy face after all. πŸ™„

In fact, after we got her souvenir sorted, it was almost time for her to get to the airport, so I sent her back to her AirBnb place to check out, then sent her to the airport.

And then I went home and wrote the piece that I did yesterday and went out for dinner with some friends.

I guess that’s the end of the story.

Oh, by the way, Nao do like Dragon Ball. In fact she like watching anime too, in general. Figures. Kurosaki Maon is a singer that mostly sings anime theme songs.

What? You are disappointed with the boring ending? Well, I’m not sorry about it…

I guess it wasn’t so bad, as far as first Tinder experiences go. I met someone who share my interest with anime, and it wasn’t about sex.

And no, I really won’t show you a picture of Nao. Like I said, privacy issue, okay? She’s going back to Japan and I’m not going to Japan and we didn’t even exchange other forms of contact so I probably won’t ever meet her again too, I think. It was a one off date. We’ll see…

No, we won’t. I’ll be the only who will see… If at all there’s anything to be seen… πŸ™„

Although I can’t show you a picture of Nao, I can however show you a picture of this gorgeous lady who made my first Tinder date possible.

Kurosaki Maon – anime singer

Damn she’s hot… And I really like her songs as of now…


  1. I hope your family doesn’t read your blog… OR I hope Nao doesn’t go back to your Tinder profile and come to your blog and read this. πŸ˜›

  2. LOL…..sorry ya…can’t help laughing. You darn talented in making readers feel suspense la.

    In the old days was meeting up with Penpals. But now hi-tech liao. Ya very kan cheong one leh

    Am glad everything turns out okay in the end.

  3. It’s very brave of you to share your personal thoughts etc.

    Some people are sensitive and rely on their gut feelings or instincts. If you are one of these people and it works for you, go with the flow or whatever works for you but make informed choices.

    A lady once told me ‘to attract someone nice into your life, you have to give out nice energy.’ I didn’t understand her then.

    Sometimes we meet someone nice, Single and there is a chemistry but for one reason or another, the ‘relationship is at a standstill.’ Enjoy the conversation, the company, the smile and the chemistry, for one moment in time. Sometimes, one has to accept it with grace and close the door or keep the door ajar. Life is not always black and white.

    • I am one who always overthink and consider every possible options, pros and cons and whatnot, but when I actually make my decisions, they are always spontaneous and based on instincts, rendering my earlier dithering pointless. It has always been like that. πŸ™„

  4. Wow wow wow! What is this? Meeting a lady you only got to know 10 minutes earlier and already getting her into your car? Were you singing, “Get out of my dreams, get into my car” all the way to Starbucks? Somemore to her place and then to airport yet nothing happenend. Ish… if this how u gonna write your book, I don’t wanna buy lah πŸ˜›

  5. I have heard of Tinder but didn’t expect that app to work this way..It’s sort of like an ‘enhanced’ but I tink a lot of people misuse such site for ‘f***’ sake, and full of perverts. U r so daring to hav meet up with a stranger which u got to know for less than a day.

    • More like a simplified version of… Speaking of which, hmm… has finally folded it seems…

      Not just less than a day mind you, is less than 10 minutes. I am shocked with myself too. That’s why it is what I call doing something that frightened me… πŸ™„

  6. Oh, first time I heard of Tinder… something like ICQ during my days? Anyway, good to make new and genuine friends who are not out for bad motives.

  7. Wow, that Japanese lady is one daring lady…she should be the one scared shitless, not you! πŸ˜€ She doesn’t even know you, she’s in a foreign land but yet she’s brave enough to get into your car. I have a feeling she’s done this before. Didn’t exchange any form of contact….hmmm, she could be just exploiting your ‘nice guy’ demeanour and used you as an ‘uber’ driver to go souvenir shopping and to the airport for free…have you ever thought of that? πŸ˜‰ Sorry to burst your bubble…I’m just one of those who subscribes to “ada udang di sebalik batu”! >.<

  8. Whoa! I read you previous post using my phone because my computer died and hence I couldn’t comment. So you actually met her. It turned out well, didn’t it? Well, let’s consider this your trial run on Tinder and perhaps it could lead to good things for you in the future πŸ™‚

  9. As suggested by Mun, do continue chatting with her on Tinder, who knows what it will lead to, my cousin met her husband online, who knows you might find your partner online

  10. She is still on Tinder, right? Just continue chatting with her when she is in Japan and see where it goes lah. She is very trusting to get into your car. Lucky for her, you are a good person. I shudder to think what could happen if she met a pervert.

    • I guess I inspire confidence in her during the short coffee session. I’m really a nice guy you know. Heck, I was even wearing my Nice Guy t-shirt. πŸ˜‰

  11. I thought this all turned out very well, and it is a very nice ending with a decent enough person. Like, it could have been much worse. Awkward small talk is really just another conversation – and if you can hold yourself together during awkward conversation there is always potential for the encounter to go somewhere further. In other words it’s an attempt to communicate and connect emotionally to some degree.

    You know, some people are just nice that way and glad you got to meet someone beautiful πŸ™„ Also must have felt nice to do something so random. Do again and who knows where it will lead you πŸ™„

    • Come to think of it, I think my initial encounters with Melba were pretty awkward too. Lucky for me, she’s as much a dork as I am, and I guess things turned out alright. πŸ™„ πŸ˜€

      • I think every encounter with a stranger or pre-friend online or offline or both is awkward. You know, you think who the heck is that person, what do they want, do they want to eat me up and naturally, you will watch your words. Luckily for me, most people I talk with over the internet have turned out okay πŸ™„

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