I Won’t Make Meatballs!

I won’t make meatballs. I won’t make meatballs. I won’t make meatballs.

Seriously, I won’t. I refuse to be enticed into making meatballs for my Saturday dinner. Not going to do it. Nope.

Pork meatballs

And… I failed. I failed big time. Sobs…

First thing I did yesterday when I was on my grocery run was to grab a box of corn flour. Actually, is it corn flour or corn starch? Or are they different things altogether?

And then I went to grab a pack of minced pork. Only after these did I proceed to shop for the other stuff that I would need for the rest of the week.

Anyway, this isn’t going to be a proper recipe. If you want a proper Malaysian Chinese meatballs recipe, click the link above.

But the thing is, meatballs are like pasta. There is no one definite recipe. The general idea is the meatball patty has to have meat and some other ingredients and seasoning, but if you ask ten housewives you would probably get ten different meatballs recipes. Sometimes it could be scallions or chives or parsley or onions or all of these.

As for me, two key ingredients in my meatball patty are these:

Chopped garlic and cili padi (bird’s eye chili)

No, not really. I’m just kidding.

If my mom are to make meatballs today, she would probably be creative and add lots of stuff into her patty, but my meatball preference is probably closer to my grandma than anybody else.

To me, meatballs are like a muscle car in a drag race. You can talk all day, but the only thing that matters is that bigger the engine, the more likely you will win. You can have ABS or cruise control or reverse parking camera and it would only be dead weight to stop you from winning. It is all about raw power!

Same goes to my theory for meatballs. The more meat you have, the better your meatballs will be! Everything else is unnecessary and only serves to make your meatballs less awesome. So, my meatballs consist of only minced pork and a seasoning of light soy and pepper, and nothing else.

Pork meatballs

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying all you chives and parsley lovers are wrong. If you serve me meatballs with chives in the filling, they’re still awesome and I would still love them a lot (unless there’s more chives than meat in them balls). It is just that it’s not how I do things so if and when I return the favor, you won’t see those things in my meatballs. Sorry.

No, not really. I’m not sorry at all. It is what it is. Take it or leave it.

If you’re wondering where those chopped garlic and cili padi went if not into my meatballs, well… I was making a full meal. I’d love to have a dinner of meatballs and only meatballs, but we have to be sensible sometimes, don’t we? The garlic and cili padi went into a broccoli stir fry.

Here’s my full dinner, complete with rice

If you’ve noticed my somewhat unusual food arrangement, it was the work of my eight years old self. What you see here is the evil broccoli army trying to invade and corrupt the castle of meatballs a.k.a the last bastion of universal hope, and the rice is serving as a layer of moat to hold the evil army back. Unfortunately anything that comes into contact with the evil army will slowly lose power so the moat wouldn’t last very long (the sauce will seep into the rice).

Here’s where our titular hero (me) comes into play. My mission is to eat ALL the broccoli with rice before the sauce seeps into the last of the rice. Need to keep the castle of meatballs untainted until the end. We save the best for last, don’t we? And a meatball tainted with vegetable juice is no longer the best.

These scenes were usually what’s going on in my head on a regular basis when I had dinner as an eight year old.

Let me end this post before I reveal more embarrassing stuff about myself. Here, take a closer look at my meatballs.

Yums!!!

28 Comments

  1. u hav such an imaginative mind…well I guess if u r eating at those mixed rice, u might be imagining a whole load of battling drama on that plate!

  2. Your meatballs look fine. Don’t worry too much about it. 🙂 If it comforts you, I’ve never made meatballs in my entire life. It’s always me eating it at Ikea. Fishballs, I’ve done, but not meatballs. ><

    • Oh, I’m not worried about my meatballs. I love them!

      I have never made fishballs from scratch, always meatballs LOL! 😛

  3. Oh, I’m glad that my post had such a profound effect on someone (more like just one)…wakakakaka! 😀 If your meatballs consist only of minced pork and seasoning, why did you buy the cornflour? And yes, cornflour and constarch is the same thing.

    I think most of us eat like children…saving the best for last! But, nowadays, I can’t take so much meat at one go, so I need to intersperse with veggies in between mouthfuls.

    • Well, the corn flour is not a flavoring agent. It doesn’t enhance or ruin the taste of the meatballs, so I guess is okay. My grandma used corn flour too. 🙄

  4. I’d be like your mum and add so many other ingredients (grated veggies, flaxseeds and so on), that there probably wouldn’t be much meat left in the actual ball.

  5. When I was a kid, I eat all things I hate first, then the good one for last (mm seh tak sik).. But now, I eat the good ones first.. Veggies can last, don’t care what gravy seeps into the rice or what-not la.. Your meatballs look delicious you know.. I don’t put a lot of stuffs inside too, not even corn starch. I just marinade with pepper & soy sauce only, then goreng, sedap already..

    • Why the change? Why now eat good stuff first? I still eat my good stuff last, even now. 🙄

  6. My father in law would tell you to eat the good food first so go eat the meatballs first because he says if you are eating in a coffee shop must eat the good food first cos we don’t know what is going to happen next. If you leave the best for last and a fight broke out in the coffee shop you will have to leave without eating the best food you like. Kind of makes sense, eat the best first!!

    Hahahahaha, I suspect you will be making meatballs after reading ewew’s post. Good job! The meatballs look delicious for someone who loves pork meatballs.

    • Tell your father in law he is thinking too far ahead. It is like saying “I should spend all the money I earn first rather than save some of it, because if I suddenly drop dead I might not have the chance to spend it”. 🙄

      I wasn’t going to make the meatballs! I really tried not to! >.<

      • So maybe a middle ground? Save 10% of money earned and spend the rest? So out of 10 meatballs, save 10% which is one for last and eat 9 first?

        You do know that there are people who live by YOLO and spend all the money that they earned immediately for fear of dropping dead anytime and they even maxed out their credit cards and only pay the minimum payment due every month though I am not advocating YOLO lifestyle.

        • Hahaha… I will agree to disagree with the YOLO bunch anyway. At least when it is such a simple thing as a meal. We usually only remember the end, and I want to end my meal in bliss, not something else. So the best has to be saved for the last. 🙄

  7. I do agree with Phong Hong. Less is more. Your dinner looks good. I will be more than happy to eat it.

    • “Less is more” only applies to things like chives or parsley. If we talk about meat then more is more. 😉

  8. Now, you know I am not a fan of pork. However, there are some forms of pork I will eat. Meatballs are one of them…or at least the meatballs at Subway but I don’t know if that is really pork or some other kind of meat.

    “the evil broccoli army trying to invade and corrupt the castle of…” Interesting thoughts that you can spin into a fictional story 😀 As a kid, I absolutely could not stand it when the different foods on my plate touched each other. For so long I used those compartment plates at home 🙄

    • Subway doesn’t do pork, I don’t think so. Not even the American outlets do pork, I would assume same goes to Oz Subway. Their meatballs are either chicken or beef.

      As a kid, I could not stand bad food (veggies) touching good food (meatballs, fried stuff). My mom never seemed able to grasp my aversion, she regularly tried to dump a ton of veggie onto my plate and made sure the veggie covered all the good stuff. 🙁

      • I just googled Subway Australia meatball, and it lists beef as its main ingredient. No wonder I don’t mind eating it. I don’t know if you will like it because you mentioned in a previous blog you aren’t a huge fan of beef.

        Today, I still have an aversion to foods touching each other on the plate. I hate it when veggies are dumped on top of rice or noodles 🙁

        • Remind me not to take you to Chinese restaurants for a meal if you visit me in Malaysia. 😐

  9. I have bought a packet of minced meat too.. half of the packet has become meatballs and been cooked with salted egg inside porridge… Tomorrow I might use the remainder to steam with egg or steam with salted radish… (toong choy)

  10. hah..hah..hah… 😀 😀 😀 Your meatballs are at its very basic with just light soya sauce and pepper and I think it is good enough. Less is more, right? But me, well, my grandma put lots of onions in hers and I am so used to the taste that I just follow suit. Your dinner looks very good. Rice, broccoli and meatballs, I’d be very happy with that.

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