I discovered my new favorite Japanese song on Youtube a few days back. It is a rather new song by Mimori Suzuko, who is also one of the members of μ’s, the seiyuu girl group for the anime series Love Live.
The song is by a seiyuu, and the title has the word Knight, and in the lyrics there are words like destiny, lance, chivalry… surely this is a theme song for an anime that I do not know of?
So I began my search. And I searched and searched and searched. And I was right. This song is the opening track for the anime Lance N’ Masques.
I found a source and began to watch episode 1..
Hmm. This seems promising. Apparently the anime tells of a high school boy who is actually a Knight in hiding from his ancient Knight organization (yeah, I know, stuff like this happens in anime). He goes around performing heroic acts and (mostly) saving damsels in distress while wielding a formidable looking lance that is extendable and retractable.
Cool… I think I could like this anime. It’s only 12 episodes, so I could finish them quickly.
Then I got to episode 2, where more characters are introduced…
So this hero who is called Knight Lancer, has a mentor who taught him everything that he know of in terms of knighthood. The mentor is herself a super powerful knight (What’s a female knight called? Knightress seems like a wrong word) much stronger than Knight Lancer.
She is also his maid (WTF?!), and she seems to enjoy punishing him at every occasion (double WTF??!!).
As if having to deal with a maid is not enough, as episode 2 comes to an end, one of the “lady” that Knight Lancer rescued decided to be his bride.
Now, a knight and a lady is very common in anime-lore, but the thing is, in this anime… the knight is a high school boy, and the lady is a 6 years old toddler.
Fuck!! It is then I finally realized what this anime is. This is a lolicon anime!
Okay, I didn’t know what lolicon means, and I assume you don’t know either. If you do, then… well… never mind…
Anyway, let me tell you what lolicon means. A lolicon means a person with a fetish for underaged girls that have not reached puberty. A lolicon anime is, well… an anime with a lolicon theme.
I’m not a lolicon! And I won’t be one! I’m attracted to girls around my age, not a 6 years old kiddo! So I think I will not continue watching this series…
But… but… this guy wields a lance that is called the Rhongomyniad.
I believe most of you must be wondering, dafuq is Rhongomyniad??
You guys know King Arthur? I’m sure you do. King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table, anyone? If you have read about these Arthurian folklore, I’m pretty sure you know of Excalibur, that famous sword which King Arthur pulled out from a stone to prove his claim to England’s kingship.
But what many do not notice when reading the folklore is that, in the final battle that King Arthur fought,
“At the last battle Arthur drove his spear into Mordred, but Mordred, feeling his death draw near, forced himself along the shaft of the spear until he could strike Arthur a great blow on the side of his head. Mordred lay dead with Arthur lying mortally wounded by his side.”
He did not kill Mordred with Excalibur. It was his spear. It was with this rarely mentioned spear called the Rhongomyniad that King Arthur put an end to the treacherous Mordred, at the cost of his own life.
You must be wondering why I know all these Arthurian legend and sh*t and whatnot. Yes, I’m a sucker for King Arthur and all his stories.
Rhongomyniad aside, there are awesome fight scenes in the anime, where different knights charge at each other and cause sparks and explosions.
Damn, this is a cool anime with a touch of Arthurian in it. Why does it have to also incorporate the lolicon elements in it?! It feels like a waste to not watch this through.
But I’m not a lolicon, damn it!
What should I do? What should I do? To watch or not to watch?
Okay, episode 3 has just finished buffering…