I had to go back to work for the first half of the day today. But since it is a holiday, I did not need to go in as early as usual. So I decided to cook myself a nice breakfast before leaving for work.
Nice breakfast is basically just saying it nicely, what I was doing was basically finishing whatever I had left in the fridge.
This was my nice breakfast on Christmas morning…
This Christmas breakfast of mine consisted of 2 jalapeno chicken sausages, 1 tomato (had 2 but 1 was rotten, tsk!), and 2 eggs. It is a very quick and lazy plate of food. I did everything in under 10 minutes. Minus all the washing that comes after eating, of course.
I know what some of you will say. Even after more than a year, some of you will still go “This is not lazy at all, if really lazy will not even cook, bla bla bla…“. I’m tired to counter such thoughts anymore. When I say lazy, I mean lazy when compared to the Jamie Oliver way of preparing food. Whatever…
Let me do a breakdown here and explain to you why my breakfast is done in a lazy way…
Sausages and Tomato
I placed the sausages on the chopping board and cut them into slices nicely. Then using the same chopping board, I cut the tomato into eight pieces. Then I heated some oil in the wok and threw the sausage slices in to fry for 6 minutes. I flipped the sausages every minute to ensure even cooking and for both sides to get a nice char. Then I removed the sausages from the wok and arranged them nicely on the plate. Then threw the tomato pieces in to cook for a few more minutes, flipping the sides every 30 seconds to ensure even cooking. Then I scooped the tomato pieees onto the plate and arranged them nicely.
I heated some oil in the wok. Then I sliced the sausages into the wok very carefully using my blunt knife, with my index finger as a makeshift chopping board. Once I was done slicing the sausages into the wok, I did the same with the tomato, again very carefully cutting them into 8 pieces. Once I was done with the tomato, I deem the sausages ready and flipped them all to the other side. Then I sort of just let them sit around for a couple minutes before scooping them all onto the plate.
Entire process took roughly 6 minutes.
Because of my laziness, the tomato was overcooked and the skin was falling off. Not good.
The sausages though, I could’ve left the sausages intact and fry them whole. But slicing them means faster cooking time and I don’t have to turn them so frequently to ensure even cooking. And I get a lot of surface areas to be charred this way. More char = more deliciousness. Right?
I cracked the eggs into a bowl and whisked them until bubbly. Then I added a pinch of salt and pepper and kept whisking until they got even more bubbly and fluffy. Then heated a bit of oil in the wok and poured the eggs into the wok. Then I used the spatula and did some complicated scrambling maneuver on the eggs for a couple minutes. Then I served the eggs onto the plate.
The wok was still hot from frying sausages and tomato, and there was still some residue oil. I cracked two eggs straight into the wok and didn’t even add any salt or pepper. I did the scrambling with the spatula for a couple minutes. Then I served the eggs onto the plate.
Now, with all the food on the plate, I sprinkled a bit of salt and lots of pepper onto all the food.
Let’s do some quick math now. Sausages and tomato took ~6 minutes, eggs took ~2 minutes, sprinkling salt and pepper took another 20 seconds. I am not lying when I saw all these were done in under 10 minutes.
Was my breakfast nice? Hell, yeah! This is simple, comfort food. As long as you know how to cook, it is pretty hard to mess this one up.
Unless if you cannot even differentiate between sugar and salt, or if you cannot even notice burnt food, whichever would mean you actually don’t know how to cook, then… please stay away from the kitchen. Go grab something nice to eat from a cafe or something…
 Kids, do not do this at home, this is dangerous. Uncle do this because uncle has been trained professionally in the art of ninja slicing 😉