Is This a Christian Family?

I’m writing this because I am seriously pissed off. I’m not going to watch my words carefully so if I offend any of you… that’s just too bad…

Someone knocked on my door earlier in the afternoon. I opened the door (while leaving the gate closed) and this conversation transpired between me and… let’s call him Lutheran.

Lutheran: Hi, hello sir! Good afternoon.
Me: Hi…?
Lutheran: Just wanna do a quick survey with you. Is this a Christian family by the way?
Me: No.
Lutheran: Perfect. Do you mind if I come inside to conduct the survey with you?
Me: Yes.
Lutheran: Great!
Me: I mean yes, I do mind if you come inside. What kind of survey?
Lutheran: Oh, it’s nothing much, I’m from the !@#$%^&* Lutheran Church in !@#$%^&*. our church is just trying to gather information on how many Christian families are living in this area, you know…
Me: Why? Why do you need to know that? Are you trying to convert more people?
Lutheran: No no no! Please don’t misunderstand sir, we don’t do such things, don’t worry. We just want to collect data and see how to allocate our resources to help in the areas with more people of needs.
Me: And you need to know how many Christians are in each areas to be able to determine that?
Lutheran: No no no! Sir, we’re not…
Me: Doesn’t matter. I’m not a Christian, and I have no interest to be surveyed by you. Have a good day!
Lutheran: Is okay sir, we’re not bad guys. See? I’m just alone. I mean no ill at all!
Me: I already said I am not interested, and I think you should leave now.

I closed the door…

Lutheran: Sir, please sir, please don’t misunderstand, let me explain!

I opened the door again…

Me: If you don’t leave within 10 seconds, I’m calling the police.
Lutheran: Please don’t get mad sir, please…

I flashed my smartphone and pretended to dial…

Lutheran: Okay sir, sorry sir, have a nice day.

And he left…

I was doing my laundry approximately 20 minutes later, and I peeked out of the window to look below. I always do that, for sometimes there might just be a chance to catch a glimpse of pretty ladies. Instead, I spotted a bunch of people wearing the same t-shirts as Lutheran, walking out of my flat’s premises together. “I’m just alone”, indeed..

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not going to go on Christian bashing here. I know there are a lot of good Christian folks, and they far outnumber the annoying pricks like the one I just encountered. Just like there are infinitely more good Muslims than bad Muslims, good Buddhists than bad Buddhists, good Hindus than bad Hindus… yeah, you got the point

But I am really pissed off with these door-to-door people because they’re just, well, annoying pricks to me. If any of you reading this are such people, I want you to know that I know you think it is your duty to try to “guide as many non-believers as you can into the righteous path“, but you should also know that I think you are fucking annoying and that you are infringing on my rights to profess on a different religion than yours.

And you should also know that the reason why lately there are more and more Malays lashing out at Chinese Christians claiming that the Chinese are trying to convert the Malays into Christians, is maybe because of your door-to-door activities. You knock on people’s doors randomly and you are bound to be knocking on some who are Muslims. You knock on enough Muslim doors and you should expect that there would be some who would report to the authorities about being harassed by Christians.

Have you guys fucking forgotten that you live in Malaysia and not Australia or America?

You know, I kind of miss the good old days when Malaysia is a country where people of all race and all religion really do live peacefully with each other in harmony, where religious people don’t go all out to try to reach out to non-believers. Recently there seems to be more and more hatred and tensions between different ethnic and religious groups. I know the main culprits are the mainstream and alternative media who are doing their damnedest best to stoke up racial and religious sentiments among Malaysians, but there is no reason for us to provide them with fuel to help them with it.

So please, for God’s sake, stop all these door-to-door nonsense….


  1. Sound fishy..i would close the door and ignore. Why need data anyway. Can be a robber posing as church people to get to know which house hv how many people and the working hours so that they can break in

    • Possible. But then they have a bunch of people wearing the same t-shirt from the church, so maybe they are super pro, or really people from that particular church..

  2. When I lived at my parents’ home at Minden Heights, it was very2 often when we got these visitors. One day a lady rang the bell and told my mum at 8:00am – “Good Morning Auntie! Do you know the world is coming to an end?”…. My patient mum replied her “When Aah?”…. Door closed.

    I dare say this only happens a lot in Penang as my gang members used to poke fun on this but I had never seen this in KL. Maybe different culture prevails.

  3. That’s the difference between Catholics and the other Christian factions. The other Christian factions (like Lutheran in your case, Anglicans, Methodists, Assembly of God, etc) tend to preach and try to get you into their faith. Their place of worship can be anywhere…in a hall, shophouse or even someone’s house unlike Catholics which is a church or cathedral (and we let people come willingly to the church, even non-Catholics, with no undue influence or force whatsoever). I also detest these people going door to door in order to “recruit”. The next time someone like this approaches you, use this sentence “I’m a Catholic” and they’ll immediately leave you alone…coz they know they can’t convert a Catholic! 😀

    • So it is not really Catholics vs Protestants, but more like Catholics vs dan-lain-lain huh. Let me try this if they come disturb me next time!

      • It is Catholics vs Protestants…just that Protestants is a generic name given to all the other Christian factions to mean Baptists, Full Gospel, Mormons, etc.

        • So basically Protestants is the name Catholics give to non-Catholics? I doubt Mormons/Lutherans would acknowledge themselves as Protestants. So very confusing, I think I better not dwell on this topic for much more…

  4. Oh how I hate this kind of people. Thankfully they didnt show up here yet but in Finland we had them often at our door and they just dont learn, they come again and again and again…

    • They do that in Finland too? Strange, I thought it is only the Asian (Chinese) Christians who do this kind of “operations”..

      • Sadly this happens everywhere however they always “aimed” at the Asians living there. So our neighbours never got bothered by those groups…

        • Well, it is always the immigrants (Asians in Europe means high likelihood are immigrants isn’t it) that seems more susceptible to be converted I suppose, after all immigrants are the ones who need a lot of help.

  5. I’m totally understand this, I encountered the same situation in a volunteer charity society. “Volunteer” means that you do everything willingly, right? Not by forcing one, right?? But them is like keep on encourage you do this and that, sounds like they want you give-up all your life and just contribute in the society. I always even wonder, do they even have a formal work to work on ya?? The feeling they give to me is like direct sales person, kept on text and call you ask “do you want to buy our products?”

    • That’s not volunteering anymore, if me, I will show them my finger and tell them to fly kite already. I think the only type of volunteering work one can do on a real voluntary basis is those that do not need you to join any member..

  6. I can totally understand your annoyance. I really hate it when people ring my doorbell for things like this. Nowadays, I just look out the window and if I see anyone I don’t recognize, I just ignore.

    And I also hate those preachy types who try to get you to go to church or join their cell group. They won’t take no for an answer and are very persistent. I lost my cool once when I was in university. This girl (whom I don’t know) approached me about joining church and the campus cell group. I told her that religion is between me and God and if I don’t go to church, that’s for God to judge me and not for her to police. Really! After that she left me alone because I always give her that “I’ll rough you up look” hah..hah…

    • It is true, nowadays you really need to show them that “don’t fucking mess with me” face if you really want them to back off. Politely refusing just doesn’t work anymore with these persistent pricks…

      I don’t know if it just me being biased or what, but it seems most of these “activists” are Chinese. I wonder if it is that competitive aka kiasu gene in us, even with religious or charitable society, we want to win win win by being the biggest, best, most members, etc…

  7. I’m not particularly fond of anyone invading my privacy – door-to-door sales of any kind, random telephone calls taking surveys or selling stuff, SPAM mail and comments on my blog etc – but that’s all obvious – it’s the more subtle stuff – the clever advertising – attempting to make you feel insecure but then offering a solution – “oh you’re skin is so ugly, but don’t worry, buy our product and we’ll fix you.” – I think that kind of cunningness is far more irritating.

    • Sometimes I have to applaud the great lengths that some people go to, just for the sake of closing a deal or making a sale. And it gets harder for them as we get smarter and smarter to see through their bullshit. But I still find them annoying anyway…

  8. We get some here too – they usually go round on Sunday afternoons…and will call from the gate or press the door bell. I would just peep out from the side door and wave to indicate that I am not interested and slam the door. They would quietly leave. Mostly old ladies…except perhaps, the Mormons – young and handsome guys. Others will just leave leaflets in the mailbox.

    • I’ve heard quit a bit about Mormons nowadays. Aren’t they kind of being treated as heretics by every other branch of Christianity? And then there’s those strange rumors that they have infiltrated most country’s top leaderships or something. Kind of creepy..

  9. Every Sunday morning, members from a church in my neighbourhood will knock on our door and try to persuade us to join their church

    • Are you annoyed with them? I guess they can do it more openly in a country like Singapore without much worry, but I don’t understand why they are doing this in Malaysia, a Muslim majority country.

  10. As you mentioned, not all Christians/Hindus/Muslims are like that, trying to convert those who are of different religion into following theirs. I share this sentiment.

    It must be scary, the guy anyhow and randomly approaching you at your flat like that. It could have been anybody and that is Malaysia…luckily you left the gate close. In Australia, most homes here have no gate…

    In Melbourne, more times than I can count in the vicinity of the CBD, I’ve been approached by Christians (a lot of them follow the Mormon religion) on the streets. More than once, I looked their way and they started chatting to me, first opening with some random chat about where are you from, do you go to uni or work, and then launch into their beliefs and invite you to come to their church. Once I took a flyer from them, and their “church” is at some so-called random location like a room in an apartment or event hall space. Now, most of the time I don’t say anything except, “Sorry. I’m busy. Really got to go” and continue walking – but they always have the gall to follow me on my merry way for a few blocks in the busy city.

    It seems that the more I speak to them or look at them, the chattier they get. Someone told me the trick is to not make eye contact with them and they won’t talk to you. These days I can spot one of them from afar and make sure I look at the ground when I pass them by…and that actually works.

    These people who have approached me tend to be guys, young guys probably in their twenties. On quite a few occasions I have been approached by females with the same spiel. Nine times out of ten they would have been of Asian descent and speak good English (think the Aussie kind).

    But coming up to your house like that and trying to invite themselves into your place, I think that’s more scary. Invasion of privacy at the creepiest level.

    • Not making eye contact alone doesn’t work well over here. Those guys will still come to me. I usually take it to the next level. I look away from them, and whisper things like “F**k off, leave me alone”, softly, but not soft enough that they could not hear it. That would deter them from initiating conversation.

      I don’t know, it seems these door-to-door missionaries are getting more and more common lately. It was not like this up till a couple years back. At least not that I know of. I’m getting more and more frustrated with these movements, especially when it seems like religious animosity is at an all time high yet more and more people seems to start coming out to challenge the status quo. If I am a more suspicious person, I would think that religion in Malaysia are being politically affiliated, which sucks…

      • When you start swearing at them, chances are they are feeling what you are feeling…

        I wonder do they have permission to come into the flat like that to knock on doors? Then again, you must live in one of those public flats without a security boom gate at the front. When I was last in KL, I never heard of this kind of missionary door-knocking. Never experienced it.

        • Yes, and I want them to feel it, since they are no bloody good at taking no for an answer!

          I’m now staying in a low cost flat, so the security gate is basically just for decoration purposes. I suppose in higher end condominiums and gated communities, they can’t do this.

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