The other day, Twilight Man said this of my appearance a few years back: “You looked cuter & slimmer! How come??”
Let me tell you what happened over these years that made me be such a big fat bastard. Well, those US trips happened! That’s why!
Today I’m going to show you my breakfasts in Loveland. This is (I think) a very incriminating post. If my mom reads this, I will never hear the end of it from her. Actually most of these photos she have seen before, but since she has such a poor memory, she would think that I have been eating these stuff just recently, in Malaysia instead.
Because my trips have been fairly short, I was not able to get an apartment lease, every time I visit Loveland I stayed in hotels. Like hotels in Malaysia, hotels here do provide complimentary breakfast. However, the breakfast here are not lavish affairs like those of South East Asian hotels. Almost everything that hotels here provide for breakfast can be seen in the picture below.
They have two trays of warm (reconstituted) meats, potatoes and scrambled egg substitutes. They have oatmeal porridge. They have cereals and raisins. They have muffins and toasts. They have coffee and tea and fruit syrups. They have… that’s all.
Until today I have no idea what are egg substitutes made off. They basically come in packs and you pour them to the pan to cook it like you would an egg. They are more rubbery than real eggs. Some say they are more nutritious because they are artificially enhanced. Yes, some Americans think processed food are better than natural food because they believe processed food are processed to artificially add nutrients to them.
As you can see, this type of breakfast is hardly ideal for weight conscious people, is it? And don’t tell me you can avoid the sausage discs and go just for the oats and cereals. It doesn’t work that way. Not when the sausages are within easy reach. It is either sausages with oats, or sausages without oats.
Anyway, when there is such a lack of variety, you get bored facing them day in, day out. You start to long for some other food. After a few days, we stopped having breakfast in the hotel and went out looking for alternatives.
Fortunately, there is an IHOP in the vicinity of the hotels we were staying at. In case you are wondering what IHOP is, it means International House Of Pancakes. It is a family restaurant chain that specializes on pancakes, omelettes and crepes.
My first encounter with my server (her name is Rose) was as such:
Me: I’d like a Colorado Omelette.
Rose: Sure. Would you like real eggs or egg substitute for the omelette.
Me: Real eggs! Definitely real eggs! What is egg substitute anyway?
Rose: Well, they are artificially produced eggs. I don’t know how they made those eggs. But most health conscious people would prefer that instead.
Me: Interesting. But I’ll stick to real eggs.
Rose: Okay. So is it three eggs, four eggs or five eggs for you?
Me: What? Three eggs? Isn’t that, too many? Can I have just two eggs?
Rose: Oh, no. Not for omelettes! You can’t make an omelette with just two eggs. It has to be three, minimum!
Me: O… kay…… Guess I’ll have three eggs then.
Before I came to the US for the first time, I always thought (or rather Mom told me) that a human body can only handle at most two eggs in a single day, and seven eggs per week max, and anything more will result in high cholesterol level. Yet for the Americans, three eggs is the minimum for them in a meal, and now for me too.
Anyway, in a short while, my Colorado Omelette was served…
Bacon, sausage, ham, beef, wrapped in three eggs and topped with shredded American cheese. For breakfast. Yeah…
But it was… delicious. So delicious that I came back for more the next day. This time I had the Bacon Temptation Omelette.
Bacon strips wrapped in omelette and topped with tomato bits and shredded cheese.
After two days of such heavy food for breakfast, we decided that we needed to do something about it. So we stopped going to IHOP and went to another restaurant down the road. This one’s called The Egg & I. It is another restaurant chain, and this one specializes on eggs. Oh dear… I guess you can see where we are headed to…
This was my first meal at The Egg & I, the highly recommended, house specialty Egg-Ceptional Omelette…
Bacon, sausage, ham, mushrooms and tomato bits wrapped in a three eggs omelette topped with melted cheese, with a side of potatoes and an English muffin. This was heavier than my IHOP meal!
Nevertheless, we came back again the next day. If we could give IHOP two days, we could give The Egg & I two days too. I told my server that I want something lighter for breakfast instead of omelettes. She recommended the Breakfast Croissant.
So called lighter breakfast consist of a giant croissant (which is delicious) filled with two eggs, ham and melted cheese. Served with potatoes.
Now we know regardless of where we go, this is how Americans do breakfast, which is with a bang! So we went back to IHOP again. When I told Rose that I’m gaining weight and that I needed to have something lighter than their omelettes, she said, “Oh, you can customize your omelettes, you know. Maybe you can just pick the vegetables and omit the meats for your toppings!”
That was excellent news! Except that, just like we cannot NOT take the sausages when having breakfast in hotels, we cannot NOT take bacon when customizing our omelettes at IHOP! These were some of my customized omelettes.
Oh, have I mentioned that when you order an omelette in IHOP, you will get a side of either toast, hash brown or three pancakes? I’ve tried each and every single one of them. Of the three, the pancakes are the most delicious! Obviously, since this is the house of pancakes, dooh!
The following week, I was served by someone else. Since she is an old woman, I did not inquire for her name. When she noted my wish of having lighter breakfast, she suggested that instead of omelettes, I can have crepes instead. I could customize my crepes to be wrapped with fillings, just like how we do the omelettes.
So I gave it a try. I ordered a bacon, spinach and tomato crepe.
And what a big f**king mistake it was! Apparently, the kitchen thought that since a crepe is lighter than an omelette, I need to have two crepes instead of just one! So now I had to deal with two crepes, each with the same amount of filling as an omelette!
That was the only time I had crepes in IHOP. I went back to omelettes after that…
And I think I shall not show you more of these incriminating photos. But I suppose now you know. With breakfasts like these, it is impossible to NOT turn from a fatty into a super fatty! No way!!