Wrong Choice of Words

Let me ask you one question: when I say that a girl is curvy, what do you think I mean?


I think this might be the time when I finally displayed the worst of my douchebaggery and drive everyone away from my blog.


    • I don’t understand overaged here. Overaged from what? I think you still look like 40 from your photos! 😀

  1. I wanna die laughing at this post! No worries friend, should the whole world ever hate you, I am still here as your friend. I am in a good position to give you some advice. I really suffered and had culture shocks that took me almost a year to understand them slightly better but I never bowed & agreed to them till today. I never will agree.

    I went to a all American college where only a small handful of Asians were there. I got into many serious arguments with my classmate who also lived next door in our apartment. We argued and yelled on almost everything under the sun from the choice of words used, taking off shoes taboo, giving doggie bag food to others, pay-yourself-family-dinner invitations, calling parents by names and the list could reach the Mars! You may have visited US many times but that’s not enough as you need to live there for a long period which might also not convince or educate us enough about the different culture as different state varies with own sets of laws and own boggling mindsets. They West Coast and East Coasts are very proud of themselves, hence the infinite mud slings.
    Now I suspect the sender is just a troubled person that is one in a million case as I do not think your choice of word would trigger other people’s reaction at all. In our circle of common blogger friends, I do know one or two are suffering from nasty hate emails and spam comments from some foreign morons too. That’s why you could see the reason our comments need to get the blog owner’s approvals. Rings a bell??

    • Maybe my blog is not famous enough to warrant the comment censuring measures. I hope it would remain that way. Mostly because I am lazy and I do not look forward to clicking the Approve button too many times!

      I’m actually not too worried with the bloggers who hang around here, most of you are even more seasoned than I am, so I’m sure you know what you are doing. I suppose I’m aiming this post as a reminder to everyone who uses social media to practice critical thinking before they share/comment/respond to comments. I don’t believe people would be intentionally malicious to other people for no specific reason. If someone says something hurtful to you, it must be either a wrong choice of word that you misunderstood (like my case), or you said something nasty to him/her first without knowing it. It is always good to take a step back, think rationally and at least try to find out why before we blindly respond to nasty with nasty. If even one person who reads this gets this message, then I think I’m doing a good thing writing this post.

      Like I suggested in the post, I definitely believe that I said something bad in the first place (although unknowingly). I would never call someone else FAT knowingly, unless that person is myself. If I ever find out the blog that I left that comment on, I will definitely go back and see if I did any damage and if I need to apologize.

  2. This is a classic case of language barrier/miscommunication! In America, curvy did come to have a negative connotation. Stores that sell larger clothes will say “for the curvy girls” or something. But I still prefer to think of it as what it is literally – “having curves”, which means sexy. Sucks how the media has flipped it around. ! I think people in America are way too sensitive and take offense at everything (or maybe it’s just girls :p).

    • You know, I have never come across the word “curvy” when I did my shopping runs in the States. But then, I have not been shopping in girls’ section so what do I know?

      Oh no, no faulting American girls here. If I knowingly call someone fat, then I would expect that person to be mad at me. That’s a natural response. I think if we have to find someone to blame, it is the media! 😐

    • No lah, I don’t think it is over sensitive. I definitely think I am in the wrong here. If someone says something not so good about not just you, but your whole fellow countrymen as a general, you would want to defend them too, won’t you? I’m just hoping people would be calmer and more patient when dealing with online stuff, I guess. 😐

  3. The epitome of curvy to me = Kim Kardashian! ;D They don’t like to be called “curvy”…you’ve gotta say “they’ve got curves in all the right places”! 😀 Even if they’re “fat”, they’re referred to as “plus-sized” 😉

    • Yeah, I know that now, “curvy” does not equal to “got curves in all the right places”. I would never call anyone “fat”, unless that person is me. 😐

  4. This is interesting. Very. As far as I know, the media’s definition of curvy is a girl on the wrong side of thin. In other words, curvy = gemuk. But my personal interpretation (self serving of course) of curvy is girls who are not stick thin and who have some meat/fats on them in the right places 😀

    But the media is confused as well. I mean they do describe Kate Upton as curvy. I mean she is not gemuk is she? She meets your and my definition of curvy. And yeah, that girl in the photo up there is curvy and not gemuk.

    If a girl is gemuk, I don’t see her as curvy. More like bumpy (those who are still brave enough to wear skin tight t-shirt or don’t look into the mirror before they go out in public) or barrel shaped. OK, somebody shoot me. 😀

    • Maybe I have not been watching too much TV for so long, I don’t really know this media’s definition until now. 🙁

      Yeah, to me, curvy is like Scarlett Johansson, Kate Upton and the likes. The media has no business hijacking that word to describe gemuk! 😐

      Still, I’m glad that there are people who are not always politically correct, just like me! 😀

  5. Frankly, I dont find the word curvy offensive wor.. Maybe my England not good, but to me, curvy means yau san choy, yau poh yau lor.. Ok akk, I feel alright.. But hai kam ger la, in the bloggerworld ahh, sometimes we say things unintentionally, then *bam*, how? Some words already say cannot take back, the only thing is to accept with an open heart, and forget it.. Remember, you have more important things to do, they are just strangers..

    • So you are not mad that I said angmoh girls have better san choy that you? 😀 😀 .. Jokes aside, it’s comforting (or worrying) that my fellow Malaysian understands the word “curvy” the same way that I did. Who knows how many more words out there that has been hijacked and had their meanings twisted in different places in the world?
      I probably wouldn’t dwell on this anymore, unless someone tells me where I left that comment then I would go back and have a look and see what damage I did. Otherwise, I just hope nobody makes the same mistakes I made.

  6. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, and what is most important is the beauty that lies within.

    Ah well, misunderstandings happen, communications break down…and it is good to clear the air in a very nice and civil way. I would see the tone used in the email – if it is not very nice, I could jolly well do without such “friends”. It is not what one says but how one says it that matters.

    • I wonder how people will perceive this post. Maybe some people will think it is not very civil to capitalize on it to write a blog post.

  7. Oh my you did step in the poo didn’t you. Some people choose to take offence, others choose to have positive presuppositions about intentions and let things that might not be so politically correct slide as they assume the other person meant no harm. The offence taken is more to do with the reader than the writer I think in this case. Don’t worry too much I guess. Your reaction to the situation however – researching to find out more – suggests you’re a rather intelligent guy, so thumbs up for you. 🙂

    • I’m not actually that worried about myself. I’m more worried about people making the same mistakes that I made. I guess I’m just hoping that I write this, people read it, and maybe take a thing or two out of it on how NOT to comment and how to (or NOT to) react to negative feedback. Since I now have no means to personally apologize at the source, I guess this is the next best thing that I can do. 🙂

  8. well, in the first instance I would already feel your comment, errr, rather, something you spurt out unintentionally not knowing it may hurt somebody.. you get what I mean?? and of course I do not know under what circumstances or what topic of the post made you said so, and how you actually laid out the sentence.. and of course, the one who reads it may not think as the one who writes it..

    • To make matters worse, even I myself don’t even remember what kind of post made me say what I said. I suppose apart from trying to “educate” some of my readers on the importance of stepping back and always try to find out more before jumping to conclusions, I’m also hoping someone would jump out in the comments/drop me an email reminding me which post it is.

  9. Ok, got the gist of your post but did you write a reply to the sender of the email along the lines of this post and did the sender reply your reply?

    As for the last sentence in your post in tiny, tiny, tiny words, how many female bare chests have you seen in real live girls for both the segments you mentioned? Watching p*rn does not count, ok.

    • Of course I did! I also requested a link to that particular blog to see if I need to set the record straight or something. Maybe I’ll get a reply tomorrow, or maybe he/she will simply not be bothered.

      Tsk! Don’t focus on the tiny tiny sentence lah! >.< ... You don't need to see bare chests to determine, do you? Unless most American girls artificially pump up, then it is fairly obvious. And of course I don't count porn, if judge based on porn, then I reckon it would be a draw I don’t watch porn.

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