笑谈广东话 Learn Cantonese with Laughter

It was a pretty stressful day at work today even for my standards, I was going stir crazy, and I started to spew random crap out of my mouth to lighten my own mood as well as the mood of some colleagues. Somewhere along the line, I mimicked this introduction of a radio talk show.

大家好!欢迎收听[笑谈广东话]!我系你架节目主持人,利孝和!吨吨吨吨 吨吨吨吨 吨吨吨吨 吨吨~
Dai gar hou! Foon ying shau teng [xiu tam gwong dong wah]! Ngor hai lei ga jit mook zhu chi yan, Lei Hao Wo! Dun-dun-dun-dun Dun-dun-dun-dun Dun-dun-dun-dun Dun-dun~
Hello everyone! Thanks for tuning into [Learn Cantonese with Laughter]! I am your host, Lei Hao Wo! Dun-dun-dun-dun Dun-dun-dun-dun Dun-dun-dun-dun Dun-dun~

A few of the colleagues were perplexed by this mimicking of mine. I was in turn perplexed by their being perplexed. They have never heard this radio talk show before. I began to play one of the clips I can find online, and immediately brought laughter to them.

This radio talk show was hugely popular when I was in college. I thought it was popular nationwide, if not worldwide. Apparently it was only popular in my college, or maybe just in my class. Have anyone of you heard of this show before? Anyway, for benefit of doubt, let me introduce (or re-introduce) to you this awesome radio talk show.

笑谈广东话/xiu tam gwong dong wah/Learn Cantonese with Laughter – this is a comedy section of a radio talk show by 森美 Sum Mei, a famous radio DJ and actor of Hong Kong.

Sum Mei
If you don’t recognize the name, you might recognize this guy. Yes, he’s featured in many comedy films

This talk show aspires to educate tourists on the proper usage of certain vulgar advanced Cantonese phrases. He explains the meaning of the phrases, and gives practical examples on how to apply them in day to day life. It was hoped that by mastering these advanced phrases, tourists can more successfully masquerade themselves as Hong Kong locals when visiting. Or at least that’s what Sum Mei hoped 😀 .

There are hundreds of clips available online if you are really interested, but let me just share my Top 3 favorite ones here.


1. 你咪当我Lulu喎!Nei mai dong ngor Lulu wor!

Literal translation: Don’t treat me like Lulu!
Meaning: Don’t take me for a fool! I have no idea why Lulu is a representation of fool/idiot/stupid though.

2. 你读屎片架?Lei dook si pin gar?

Literal translation: Did you study with toilet paper?
Meaning: Are you stupid? A person who studied with books are intelligent, a person who behaves in an unintelligent way is assumed to have studied with toilet rolls that are used to wipe shit off the ass a.k.a studied shit.

3. 你唔好扮晒蟹喎!Lei mm hou ban sai hai wor!

Literal translation: Stop pretending to be a crab!

Meaning: Stop faking! Human and crab is fundamentally different. A human who tries to pretend to be a crab is obviously going to fail, and it will be very obvious.


I think it won’t be funny if you just read, you need to listen to the actual clips by Sum Mei using his moronic tone to feel the funny-ness. Just a few will do actually. As I mentioned, there are hundreds of clips online, when I first listened to these clips, I managed to last 40 clips, then I began to get bored 😀 .

 

28 Comments

  1. hahahahaha, all thanks to you, whenever I say something to spouse where he thinks I am bluffing him, he will say loudly mimicking this “Lei Mai Dong ngor lu lu wor” and then when I explain to him, he will say with a deadpan voice mimicking this clip “ngor hei lu lu”. Hahahahaha, now I “bei hei kei sei” when he does this all the time, being influence by your clip. Hhhhhmmmppphhh!

  2. Goodness! My comments went missing which was posted long ago. You deleted kah? Sobs! Sobs!
    I said something about being in KL for 21 years and cannot speak good Cantonese! Now I am learning Mandarin to brush up those smatterings I learnt during primary days at St.Xavier’s Penang.

    • What? No, I don’t delete comments, unless by accident!
      Your case gives me comfort about not being able to speak Hokkien after 6 years in Penang 😀

  3. I don’t understand any of it. What a shame that I have been in KL for more than 10 years and yet I can’t speak Cantonese. Of course I know a word or two like tapau, kar fan (hah..hah..)…. I know I missed out a lot not knowing Mandarin and Cantonese. But I do speak Hokkien which is my dialect.

    • I am same situation as you, although opposite in terms of language. Don’t know Hokkien while staying in Penang for over 6 years.

  4. I tink other than Ipoh & Klang Valley, Cantonese is hardly heard…nowadays younger generations use mostly Mandarin & English. The dialects are now rotting, only the older generation & a minority of Gen-Y are still proficient in it.

    • At least Cantonese still has TVB to encourage usage. Those other dialects are in a more sorry state..

  5. Yes, I like his acting and a famous DJ in HK.. He is Sammy Sum..I just got to know recently only. 🙂 He is supposedly to act in Line Walker but due to health, he rejected the role and replaced by another Sammy…
    Cannot open youtube from here now at the moment.. so cannot listen. 🙂

  6. Good to learn dialects. The Chinese culture thrives in all the dialects, even in the cuisine – we have Hokkien mee, Foochow mee sua, Hinghua bihun, Teochew porridge and what have you… Once the dialects die, the Chinese culture dies too. Practices may still be found sporadically but people may not know what came from where or why they do it.

    Here, we have the Speak Mandarin culture – Mandarin is a language, not a dialect, not a culture.
    All the younger ones here speak Mandarin – their only language at home and later, in school and they cannot understand a word of any of the dialects like Foochow or Hokkien – they are already extinct here. The trouble is they are equally lost with English of Malay – so in the end, I had to learn Mandarin myself to communicate with them at the supermarkets, shops, restaurants…everywhere. Thankfully, I have managed well…and I’m now proficient enough in the language. Did not have to go to school for that – can’t understand how people can go to school, spend 11 years learning a language…and can’t speak a word. Tsk! Tsk!

    • Schools only teach you how to pass exams. To really master a language, you need to get away from schools, that’s true at least for recent years.
      It’s difficult to pick up dialects nowadays, since even parents will only train their kids in English. Not that I blame them, we are getting more and more like Singapore, where every piece of advantage needs to be squeezed to ensure the child excel in school.

      • Ahhhh!!! It’s English over at your side eh? Here, it’s 100% Mandarin. Actually, parents can leave it open – create opportunities for the kids to learn as many as they can and they will pick them up with ease – they learn very fast…at an early age. By secondary school, as they say, the rice has become porridge. Too late already.

  7. Haha I like your post today.. I havent clicked on your videos but from the description, I think I’m gonna like it too.. Yep I’m a pure Cantonese so I understand exactly what the clip is about even before I click it.. Errrr I also dunni why Lulu is referred as dumb dumb, never liked the name too coz my name starts with Lou.., sometimes when ppl say Lulu, I feel it sounds like my name, yikes!

    • Remember to click them and tell me how you feel about them, I like his examples of practical applications in real life 😀

      • Reached office and clicked on the videos already.. Haha.. Quite loud, but I listened to almost the whole thing though.. I like the Lulu and the crab one the most.. The crab one very funny la.. Lulu sounds like calling me, so erm, I don’t really listen all, haha..

        • Louiz and Lulu, not same lah, cannot be confused, if got people confuse it and tease you, you can tell him: lei dook si pin gar?!! 😀

  8. I know people always refer to Lulu or Richard when they want to represent stupid. Luckily my name is not Lulu or else I’ll cry a river! Huhuhu..

  9. nice to listen to these clips and certainly unwind yourself especially when you are at work.. i like 森美 and especially when he’s with 小儀, both of them really make a perfectly funny duo!! hahaha..

    this is one of the most funny one i’ve heard of, probably you’ve heard this too:-


  10. Ah, I did not know about this also. Will listen during this weekend with spouse for he is a true blue kwong tong chai.

    Luckily you managed to find the clips online for your colleagues so that they do not think you have gone off for being too stressed! 🙂

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