I have a friend. Let’s call him Mr Douchebag. He was at work in KL yesterday, then got a call at 5.30 PM and got himself an appointment for a job interview here in Penang this afternoon, so he quickly went home, packed up, and drove all the way here. He showed up at my rented house at 11.00 PM asking to bunk in my room for the night.
So I left him with my house keys and went to work this morning. I told him that if he wants to cook, he can use anything in the kitchen. By the way, he is only working in KL, his hometown is elsewhere, and apparently he has not been cooking because his own rented place has
no kitchen very ill-equipped kitchen. So we made plans to do some home cooking for dinner before he headed back to KL after the interview.
So I came back to the house at 5.00 PM, but my mojo was totally destroyed as I was greeted by this:
Fuck, fuck, fuckerty fuck! How did this happen to my precious pan?!
Apparently, Mr Douchebag was trying to make an omelette for brunch before heading off for the interview. He totally ignored my wooden spatula and went for my metal spoon instead when cooking. He had the nerve to say: “Walao! Why your pan like that one? Little bit then scratched!”
WTF! Just because my pan is cheap, doesn’t mean that you have the right to destroy it!
I bought this pan 5 years ago. It has been following me through thick and thin, serving me splendidly without fail through wind and rain. And now it is destroyed! 🙁
Thanks to his douchebaggery of the highest degree, there won’t be any cooking to talk of, scratched non stick pan cannot be used anymore. Instead, we had to settle for a quick dinner at OldTown.
Or at least, new to me, I have not been having dinner here for quite some time. OldTown doing a dish with actual vegetables is news to me. The main reason I hardly want to have dinner at this franchise is because of the non-existence of vegetables in their dishes. I might come back more often if they keep this grilled chicken dish in their menu for long term.
Over dinner, thanks to my sulky face, Mr Douchebag began to feel some guilt. He asked: “Come on lah, it looks like a cheap pan to me. How much can a pan cost?“, in which I retorted: “Well, what do you think? It is a non stick pan!”
Mr Douchebag has no experience in shopping for cooking utensils. He promised to pay for a new pan. So he gave me 100 bucks before we went our separate ways, him back to KL while I went shopping.
Here’s what I bought:
This means I can relegate the rice cooker into the corner again. I can use this pot to cook rice. Never really fancied the rice cooker, the rice tends to stick all over the bottom, wasteful. Also, with this, I can give frittata another go, since it is smaller in diameter compared to my old pan and the eggs can be thicker in here.
Same diameter as my old pan, but deeper and with the wok like curve on the edges. I think I can do some tossing when stir frying now.
Total cost: RM 99.80. They’re all TopValu a.k.a Jusco brand, the cheapest of them. If I went for DuPont or Tefal, it would look classier (probably better quality too) and weigh heavier, but the price would be triple.
Actually, my old pan was RM 29.90, it was really a cheap pan, albeit a reliable one. Mr Douchebag overpaid me by more than 3 times. And he doesn’t read my blog. I don’t think he will ever find out the truth.
Well, I suppose I could return half of the money to him when we meet up again in KL, or treat him to a meal or something.
Or maybe not. If he ends up getting the job here, I foresee he would be coming over for dinner more often than not. If that happens, might as well consider these pans as his contribution to my kitchen.
In case you are worried Mr Douchebag might read this and take offense, no need to worry. Mr Douchebag and I go way back. We met in a Buddhist camp when I was still in secondary school. He is one of the closer friends that I have. Close enough that we frequently try to out-douche each other to strengthen our friendship over time. In fact that’s how we roll most of the time 😉 .